Hey Y'all, Hey!

Yo!!! For real for real, let’s talk about it… unfortunately, the words "pleasure," "joy," and even "happiness" barely exist in the world of high-achieving, over-functioning African American women.

And... let me just say this BEFORE I SAY THAT: Indeed, there are systemic structures in place that oppress us as double minorities, stealing our basic human rights daily. Plus, we’ve been conditioned to be "everything-to-everyone" superheroes, holding it all together with fake "I'm okay's" and plastered-on smiles.

Image: Reference Source

But, here's a hard truth—while it’s not entirely our fault, we sure aren’t helping —WE DO PERPETUATE THE PROBLEM. S/N: This is me practicing saying the weird thing out loud.

We’ve drank' the Kool-Aid, believing we should work ourselves beyond "tired", all to prove OURSELVES to OURSELVES. But in the process, WE’RE COMPLYING WITH OUR OWN DEMISE.  Yep, I said it! And no, I’m not just talking out the side of my neck—check the receipts right here and here.

Why Do We Keep Putting Pleasure on the Back Burner

Black women hustle, we grind. And sure, we have a little fun here and there—but let’s call a thing, a thing—WE DO NOT PRIORITIZE PLEASURE (and no, I’m not talking about just feeling "good" when we look "good"). We perform miracles daily, yet we often push pleasure to the back burner. And when we have to cut things from our to-do list, PLEASURE IS ALWAYS THE FIRST TO GO.

S/N: Girl, definitely pay your bills and be an upstanding citizen... cause I can't loan you money at this point in my life... NOT YET AT LEAST. But I can give you free advice:

We treat pleasure like it’s a luxury we can’t afford—sacrificing it on the altar of productivity. But let’s get one thing straight: WE ARE NOT MACHINES. All that stuff will still be here tomorrow and the day after that until we die. PLEASURE IS IMPORTANT.

True Story: I hear the words “pleasure” or "joy" in my day mainly when I’m in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru.

I mean... it can also come up if... well, you know, we're talking about sexual activities. S/N: And hey, no shame—whatever you're into, embrace it! As long as you're not crossing your boundaries or anyone else's, you do you! 

When was the last time we connected pleasure with more than just food or sex, but with simply living our best lives?

Pleasure Is Holistic

Pleasure isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, spiritual, mental, and more. At its core, pleasure is about embracing the transcendent experience of being “fully human,” not superhuman. It’s found in the essence of those quiet moments, deep conversations, and a good cackle—the experiences that make us feel truly alive, even while acknowledging and working through the foolishness that does still exist in our lives.

Why We Deserve Pleasure Without Guilt

We’ve been carrying the weight of world on our shoulders for so long that we’ve forgotten how to JUST BE. But pleasure isn’t something we earn or only a lucky few are blessed with—it’s something we deserve JUST BECAUSE WE EXIST. Our joy is revolutionary, and when we reclaim it, it’s an act of resistance.

How to Start Prioritizing Pleasure

• Say “Yes” to Yourself: Give yourself permission to enjoy life—take that long bath, walk in nature, or just breathe.
• Create Rituals of Pleasure: Whether it’s a morning coffee, a favorite song, or meditation, make pleasure a daily habit.
• Unplug and Unwind: Regularly disconnect from the world’s chaos and tune into what your soul needs.
• Listen to Your Body: It knows what it needs—rest, move, or indulge when it asks.

  @amandajustice_ on Tiktok Amanda J 🤍

In short, this is all VERY CUTESY, VERY MINDFUL, VERY DEMURE (in my best words of Jools Lebron on TikTok). Below are the tenets of MINDFULNESS.

The Ripple Effect of Black Women’s Pleasure

When we prioritize our pleasure, we don’t just transform our lives—we light up our communities. Our joy is contagious. It reminds the world we are more than what we produce; we deserve every bit of goodness life has to offer.

So here’s to reclaiming pleasure—not as an afterthought, but as a vital part of our lives. Because we deserve to live full, joyful, and UNAPOLOGETICALLY PLEASURABLE LIVES. And trust me, this is just the beginning.

At Dock Ships, we see "a future where African American women achieve social health & enjoy maximum wellness. 

#CAPEOFFLIVEON

Sharell D. Cannady, CEO of Docked Ships

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