Let me just gon' start off by saying...

If I offended you—sorry, not sorry. I be’ straight silly out here on these innat' streets. Talking mad cash trash like it’s my FT job. And when you see me?

I’m out here looking like your sweet, chill' favorite cousin on your daddy’s side (and you know that says a lot because sometimes we don’t even fool with that side like that). Heck, I'm prolly' kidding' myself and actually be at Auntie status now. LOL

S/N: It’s the dimples and my good macaroni-stirring arms for me.  

But all jokes aside, I’m just out here giving myself my flowers because, I don't do it enough—AND AS BLACK WOMEN WE DON'T DO IT  CONSISTENTLY. 

What Am I Celebrating?  ... brace yourself... cause...

NOW, MIND YOU: This year, I set out to scale my business Docked Ships, thinking it was all about growth and strategy in my understanding of entrepreneurship.

Here’s the thing: I’ve always been a scrapper in the past. That means I knew how to rise when my back was against the wall, fueled by that underdog, “Oh, you’re gonna feel me now” energy.. 

But success? Success requires a different mindset. You can’t just stay motivated by proving people wrong. You have to shift into a new lane, operating from a place of identity, not potential.

You’re either begging for a seat at the table, or you are the table.

And let me tell you, I AM abundance. That’s not an affirmation—it’s just who I am. S/N: My journey has definitely been inspired by Toni Jones and her unapologetic call to Take Up Space (click here to listen).

Facing the Root

To figure this out, I had to go back to where it all started: my family of origin. My mom, my brother, my sister, and my stepfather.

Growing up, I decided I’d leave home and never look back. Why? Because I couldn’t heal or grow in the toxic environment of my youth—and somehow, I knew that even as a kid. 

Yes, I could blame my mom (and ALL Y’ALL BET NOT EITHER… Let me find out! 👀 Because y’all know I’m already down bad for spilling family tea on the innat), 

But the truth is, it was a bigger issue that no one in my family knew how to solve.

S/N: This right here is a genogram (click here for a template if you want to create your own). It’s a therapeutic tool, kind of like a family tree, but with way more tea—it helps chart patterns and issues within families, giving you a clearer view of the dynamics at play.

CUE THERAPY.

At the beginning of the year, I also signed up for individual therapy to help me navigate this next level of business growth. I also built a support system—partnering with colleagues, leaning on my closest friends, and getting radically honest. No more polite conversations; I was keeping it real.

But the real game-changer? I stopped trying to manage my family dynamics on my own. Instead of playing the role of the “respectable one” and having those one-on-one conversations trying to convince folks to change, I took a different approach.

The Family Intervention

When a new family issue popped up—one I didn’t even know existed—I knew it was time to act. But not alone. I wasn’t going to carry this weight by myself anymore.

@nylah.akua on Tiktok Nylah | Lifestyle + Travel

I decided to tackle our generational trauma at its root by investing in family therapy. And y’all, let me tell you, it wasn’t even as expensive as I thought it would be. I found a therapist licensed in both NC and TX with a specialty in family trauma, set up a consultation, and scheduled our first session.

Disclaimer: Family therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Be sure to consult with your individual therapist to determine if it’s the right fit for you and your situation.

At first, my family showed up out of pure curiosity. But once we started unpacking the hard stuff, whew, the energy shifted. It got real real quick. There were moments I wanted to throw in the towel, but I knew we had to stay the course. Sometimes, it feels like we’re doing open-heart surgery, teetering on the edge of life support—but hey, we’re still making it.

The Breakthrough

Through these sessions, I discovered that my fear of success was tied directly to my family dynamics. As a kid, I was intuitive—I could see patterns and sense the truth in situations. But I was constantly told I was “too much” or “overreacting,” which made me doubt myself.

Tina pointed out that my ability to recognize patterns in emotions, thoughts, and behaviors is a spiritual gift. It’s what makes me a great therapist. But this gift often made people uncomfortable because I cut through the noise and got straight to the truth.

And that truth? It came with rejection, denial, and blame.

Owning My Truth

Now, I’ve embraced that it’s okay to be bold, honest, and unapologetically seen. My voice isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine. Those who get it, get it. And those who don’t? Well, they’re just self-identifying as not my people—and that’s okay, too.

I’m here to offer transformative truth. To be fierce, forward-thinking, and fearless. To call out the BS and hold space for those ready to do the work.

Let’s get this work, Sis.

PLEASE. PLEASE. SHARE THIS WITH OTHER BLACK WOMEN. AND HAVE THEM SUBSCRIBE:  https://www.dockedships.com/stress-crisis-african-american-women-health

At Dock Ships, we see "a future where African American women achieve social health & enjoy maximum wellness". 

#CAPEOFFLIVEON

Sharell D. Cannady, CEO of Docked Ships