 |
| @madaichakell on Tiktok |
Ever checked for a dude because he seemed super chill at first? He like reminded you to breathe and stuff? And that helped to balance you by grounding your over-functioning tendencies?
But now? You’re staring at the unwashed dishes in the sink like, “So... we’re just not going to do anything about this?”
Ain’t it funny how that same “tall breath of fresh air” can become the target of your full-blown tornado of resentment when, as a high achiever, you feel stuck carrying all the responsibilities?
 |
I mean, ain’t nobody got time to play Superwoman while their partner fades into the background like an extra in their own love story.
What’s even up with that, anyway? Like, how did “teamwork” turn into a one-woman show?
Welp, last night, while hosting a couples intensive, I got to ask my colleague, Sean Washington, MA, LCMHC (who I secretly call the Black Man Whisperer—because he stay' gettin' them straight) a great question one of the participants posed (click here if you need his referral information):
QUESTION
“Why are high-achievers so often drawn to mid- or low-level performers?” And let me tell you, Sean had the best answer...
WHAT SEAN SAID
According to Sean, high achievers and mid- or low-level performers ADMIRE one another. He said they are often drawn to each other because they represent what the other lacks.
Mid- and low-level performers admire the drive, ambition, and mission of high achievers—they strive to be like that but may lack the skills or confidence to reach that level.
On the flip side, high achievers sometimes long for a simpler, more laid-back way of life and see that in their partner.
This dynamic creates a mutual admiration: one person admires the other's ambition, while the other admires the other's ability to chill and enjoy the moment.
However, the challenge arises when admiration turns into resentment. The high achiever starts wondering why their partner isn’t more driven, and the partner feels overwhelmed or frustrated by the achiever’s relentless pace. (Click here to see a perfect illustration of this dynamic—shoutout to one of my clients for sending me this gem!)
It’s the classic case of opposites attracting—but struggling to coexist.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2
Walking Mindfulness wasn’t your vibe? Welp, no worries—I’ve got something else cooking! And yes, there will be prizes 👀. I know y’all see me out here stacking entrepreneurial endeavors like I’m playing Monopoly (gotta secure the bag, right?), but frfr, my main focus is helping Black women learn how to truly show up for themselves.
Interested in the Self-ish Challenge for Black Girls?
PLEASE. PLEASE. SHARE THIS WITH OTHER BLACK WOMEN. AND HAVE THEM SUBSCRIBE: https://www.dockedships.com/stress-crisis-african-american-women-health
Wanna' revisit a blog/newsletter that had you like, “Wait a minute?”—No worries. Check em' out [click here].
At Dock Ships, we see "a future where African American women achieve social health & enjoy maximum wellness."
#CAPEOFFLIVEON
Sharell D. Cannady, CEO of Docked Ships
Responses